You know Sarah from her story about making the decision to stop wearing the hijab. Sarah wrote her story and published it as an article online, on a forum called Freethought Lebanon. She received many messages from girls with similar stories, and decided to publish 10 of these in a second article. We interviewed Sarah about her experience, her decision to publish, and her opinion about the future. I wanted a topic to write about. I’m friends with other authors for Freethought Lebanon, and we all decided to write an article. I thought ‘so many girls are like me and some of them are still wearing the veil by force, so maybe if I share it they will feel like they’re not alone, because that’s how I felt when I was wearing it’. When I published it, everyone was surprised because none of my friends knew that I used to wear the hijab except for my best friends. The responses were really good in general. Everyone was supportive, but what surprised me more was the girls who started sending me their stories. We asked Sarah how many girls she thinks are like her. Oh you have no idea, so many girls. So many. And not just atheists feel like this about the hijab. One of the girls who shared her story said that she believes in God and Islam and everything about Islam but she wishes that she was able to make the decision herself to wear the hijab, because her parents made her wear it. Most of the girls who contacted me were Lebanese, except for two who were Syrian. And most of them were between 19 and 28. For all of them, the pressure came from their families. You have no idea how crazy Lebanese parents can be. There’s a belief in this culture that parents own their children. They think that they have to decide everything for their children. If you watch them in public, you’ll notice that they choose for them what to wear, what to eat etc, like the children have no personality. Atheist or religious, Lebanese or Syrian, these girls were all connected by their story, which was the same as Sarah’s. The belief that parents own their children, which Sarah attributes this phenomenon to, is not singular to Lebanon, but according to Sarah, Lebanese girls are the lucky ones, in comparison with the rest of the region. We’re lucky in Lebanon though. We weren’t born in the Gulf or in Syria even. I’ve been to Syria at least 20 times, and I don’t know how the girls do it. I guess because they’re born there so it’s their only choice. If I were in their place I would have been like them I guess. We asked Sarah whether or not the decision to remove the hijab in spite of family disapproval has affected her life. The decision has affected my life. I don’t have a relationship with a lot of my extended family. There are uncles that I haven’t seen for four years. And I feel better this way because they don’t understand. The ones that I do see, they still say things sometimes from time to time. Every time I see them, they look at my clothes and see me going out and what time I’m coming home, and they shout at me or ask my parents how they’re allowing me to do this. I don’t think this will ever stop. This power of the extended family is a common theme talked about by Lebanese people. We asked Sarah how her parents were dealing with this, as they inevitably come under this pressure too. My mom is traditional. She’s not really religious, the thing that annoys me is that she doesn’t even pray. She just really cares about the society and what people would think. She always says ‘please don’t do this the neighbours will talk about us,’ she’s always afraid. My dad is the opposite, he’s religious, he prays, he always goes to the Friday prayer but he’s open. He never forces me to do anything, he never asks me why I don’t pray or says anything when I don’t fast. In her article, Sarah had mentioned discrimination against veiled girls in certain areas of Lebanon. We asked her if she had felt a difference in how she was treated since she removed the veil. Yes. I remember when I used to go to Christian areas, like the malls in Achrafieh, these fancy Christian areas, they always judged me. It’s also not easy to get a job if you wear the veil. I have a second job in a bookshop, where I work during vacations, and they would never employ a veiled girl. I have a friend, she’s half-American, half-Lebanese, but she’s mostly American, she doesn’t even know Arabic. I’m sure she also wears the veil by force, because I know her sister is forced to wear it. She lives in America now, but she used to live in Lebanon. When she lived in Lebanon, she tried to apply to an international retail store, and the man there told her not to even try because she was veiled. She was so angry, because the veil didn’t stop her working anywhere in America, but in her own country, it did. We wanted to find out if it works the other way too, if Muslim women judge Sarah because she wasn’t veiled. If you don’t know Lebanon, you might think that they wouldn’t know, but, like we mentioned in our second podcast, in Lebanon the first question that you will be asked is ‘where are you from?’ If your religion can’t be deciphered from this, they will ask what village, what your family name is (the Lebanese all seem to have an entire library of family names and the religion they’re associated with, it’s actually pretty impressive), try to judge based on how your hijab is wrapped or any visible symbols, and if that fails just ask you straight out what religion you are. It’s a prerequisite to most interactions between Lebanese people. Yeah, yeah, because my family name is a Shia name, so they immediately judge me. Sometimes when we want to apply to jobs, some companies accept only from certain sects, and my family name is sometimes a problem, until they look at me and they see how I dress, how I look and they say maybe she’s different. So Sarah is judged for both her surname, which is Shia, and the fact that she doesn’t wear the hijab. This in-between status that doesn’t quite fit into Lebanon’s generally accepted boxes is demonstrated by an experience with the principal of the school where she works. When I started work in my school, the principal really wanted to know my religion. She thought that I was Druze, or at least not Muslim because of how I live my life. So she asked me one day, where are you from? I knew what she wanted to know. So I said I was from this area and she said ah, so you are Shia, and I said yeah. And she said I thought you were Druze, you don’t look like a Muslim. I told her no I am not, I didn’t say I’m an atheist, I only said that I’m secular, and she said okay, may God lead you to the light, and she said that she would pray for me. We had made some observations before this interview about the despair felt by young people in Lebanon about their future, so we wanted to see if Sarah was the same. We asked her what she saw for Lebanon’s future. Nothing. Absolutely nothing, it’s a bleak future. I don’t blame the government, I blame the people. The people make the government, and if the people weren’t corrupt, the government wouldn’t be corrupt. The secular people who want to reform the country, we’re still outnumbered by religious people. So we can’t really do it, and the thing is that the religious people have a lot of children, like you see how many children Muslims have, even if they are poor, they will have 7 children. So there will always be more of them than us, you see how atheists in general don’t have a lot of children. I don’t think there’s hope, the country can’t be fixed now, so the only hope is to leave, to emigrate. A Minister said recently that each year 33,000 people from my age group migrate from Lebanon, and that’s what I’m hoping to do actually, I’m trying to save money so that I can leave one day, it’s my only hope. I don’t care what country I go to, any country that will accept me. I just want to leave. Really any country is better than here. Sarah isn’t the only young person who feels that emigration is the only option, and these 33,000 who leave are only a fraction of those who want to leave. To pinpoint her concerns, we asked Sarah what were the first three things she would change if she had all of the power in Lebanon. I would reform the government. I would put all the corrupt people who stole money from the government in jail. This is the first step because you can’t do any other step without that. The second thing is to make education better in Lebanon. We need more public schools because a lot of people know the education is good but they prefer to put their children in private schools because in there are too many students in the public schools, and students come from different backgrounds, and they don’t want their children to mix with the street kids. And number 3…. I haven’t really thought about this before. Oh yeah number 3 is to take care of the roads and nature and urban construction. These three I think are the most important now, number 2 is the most important I think because you will be investing in the people. كان بدي موضوع أكتب عنوا . أنا صديقة مع مؤلفين الفكر الحر بلبنان , و كلنا قررنا نكتب مقالة . أنا بعتقد "كثير بنات متلي وبعض منن بعدن بيلبسوا حجاب غصب عنن ", فا أذا شاركت هذا معن رح يحسوا انن مش وحيدين , لأن هذا يلي شعرتوا لما كنت ألبس الحجاب . لما نشرت المقال , كلن كانوا متفاجئين لأن ما حدا من رفقاتي بيعرف أنو كنت ألبس حجاب ما عدا رفقاتي لمقربين . كانت الردود منيحا بشكل عام . كلن كانوا داعمين , لكن يلي دعمني أكثر البنات يلي بلشوا يبعثولي قصصن .
ما عندك أي فكرا , كثير بنات ,كثير . ومش بس لملحدين بيشعروا هذا عن الحجاب . وحدي من البنات يلي شاركت قصتها قالت أنو هي بتأمن بالله و الإسلام و كل شي عن الإسلام بس هي بتتمنا لو كانت قادرة تاخذ خيارا بنفسا لتلبس الحجاب , لأن أهلا خلوها تلبسوا. معظم البنات يلي تواصلوا معي كانوا لبنانيات , ما عدا ثنتين كانوا سوريات . ومعظمن كان عمرن بين 19 و 28 سنة . كلن أجا لضغط عن طريق أهلن . ما عندك أي فكرا قديش الأهل البنانين ممكن يكونوا مجانين. في أعتقاد بالمجتمع أنو لأهل بيملكوا ولادن . بيفكروا أنن لازم ياخذو القرار عن ولادن . أذا بتشوفن بالبيت , رح تلاحظ أنوا بيختاروا لولادن شو بدن يلبسوا , وشوا بدن ياكلوا ....., مثل كأنو لولاد ما عندن شخصية . نحنا كمان محظوظين بلبنان . ما خلقنا بالخليج أو بسوريا حتى . كنت بسوريا أقل شي 20 مرة , وما فهمت كيف لبنات بيلبسوا لحجاب . بعتقد لأنوا خلقو هنيك فا ماعندن غير خيار واحد . أذا كنت بهذاك لمكان بعتقد رح كون مثلن . القرار أثر على حياتي . ما عندي علاقات مع لكثير من أفراد عيلتي . عمومتي ما شفتن من 4 سنسن . وحسيت أنو احسن هيك لأن ما رح يفهموني . في واحد منن بشوفوا , بيضل يقول أشياء بعض الأحيان من وقت للثاني , كل مرة بشوفون فيها , بيتطلعوا على تيابي وبيشوفوني بطلع لبرا وأي وقت برجع علبيت , وبيصرخوا عليي أو بيسألوا أهلي كيف بيسمحولي أعمل هيك . ما بعتقد رح يوقفوا أبداً. أمي تقليدية . هي مش كثير متدينة , لشي يلي بيذايقني أنو هي ما بتصلي . هي فعلاً بس بتهكل هم المجتمع وشو الناس بدا تفكر. ديماً بتقول بترجاكي ما تعملي هيك الجيران رح يحكو علينا ", وديماً خايفي . بيي بالعكس تماماً , متدين وبيصلي وبيروح ديماً على صلاة الجمعة بس منفتح . أبداً ما بيغصبني أعمل أي شي , ما بيسألني أبدا ليش ما بصلي أو بيحكي أي شي لما ما بصوم . أي بتذكر لما كنت روح على المناطق المسيحية , مثلاً الرجال بالأشرفية هذي منطقة مسيحية فخمي , ديما بيحكموا عليي . وكمان مش سهلي تحصل على شغل أذا أنت بتلبسي حجاب . عندي شغل ثاني بمكتبي , يلي بشتغل فيها خلال العطل , ومش رح ابداً يوظفوا بنت محجبي . عندي صديقة هي نص أمريكية ونص لبنانية , بس هي تقريباً أمريكية . حتى ما بتعرف عربي . انا متأكدة هي بتلبس لحجاب غصب عنا , لأن بعرف أختا مغصوبي تلبسوا .هي عايشي بأميركا هلق , بس كانت عايشي بلبنان. لما عاشت بلبنان , حاولت تتقدم لمحل دولي بيبيع بالتجزئة , و الرجال هنيك قلا حتى ما تحاولي أبدا ً لأنو كانت محجبي . كانت كثير معصبي , لأن لحجاب بأميركا ما وقفا عن اي شغل . بس بيبلدا ,وقفا . أي , أي لأن أسم عيلتي أسم شعيي , فا بيحكموا عليي فوراً. بعض الاحيان لما روح قدم علي شغل , بعض الشركات بس بيقبلوا طائفي معيني , وأسم عيلتي بعض الأحيان مشكلي , حتى يتطلعوا فيي ويشوفوا شو لابسي , كيف مضهري وبيقولوا يمكن هي مختلفي . لما بلشت أشتغل بمدرستي , صاحبة المدرسة كانت عنجد بدا تعرف ديني. هي فكرت أنو أنا درزية , أو على لأقل مش مسلمي. فا هية سألتني بيوم من الأيام , من وين أنت ؟ أنا بعرف شو كان بدا تعرف , فا أنا قلت أنا من المنطقة الفلانية , وهي قالت ااأه , أنت شيعية, و قالت كنت مفكرتك درزية , ما بتبيني أنك مسلمة . قلتلا لا أنا مش مسلمة , ما قلتلا أنا ملحدة , بس قلت أنا علمانية , وهي قالت أوك , ربي يهديكي علنور , وهي قالت رح تصلي منشاني . ولاشي . طبعاً ولا شي , مستقبل أسود . ما بلوم لحكومي بلوم العالم . لعالم يلي عملت الحكومي , و اذا لعالم ما كانوا فاسديبن لحكومي مش رح تكون فاسدي . الاشخاص العلمانيين يلي بدن اصلاح البلد , بعدن أقل عدد من الأشخاص المتدينين . فا فعلاً ما فينا نصلح البلد , و فكرة الأشخاص المتدينين عندن كثير ولاد , مثل ما بتشوفي المسلمين عندن كثير ولاد ,حتى اذا كانو فقرا , رح يكون عندن 7 ولاد . رح يكونوا ديماً أكثر منا , بتشوف الملحدين بشكل عام ماعندن ولاد كثير . ما بعتقد هذا أملن , البلد ما فيها تتصلح هلق , فا لأمل لوحيد هوي تفل , للهجرة . الوزير قال مؤخراً أنو كل سنة في 33 ألف شخص من عمري بيهاجر من لبنان, وهذا يلي بتمنا أعملو الحقيقة , أنا عبحاول جمع مصاري فا بقدر فل بيوم من الأيام , هذا أملي الوحيد . وما بيهمني أي بلد بروح عليها , أي دولي بتقبلي. بس بدي فل .عنجد اي دولي أحسن من هون . أول شي بحب صلح الحكومي . بحب حط كل الاشخاص الفاسدين من الحكومي يلي سرقوا المصاري بالسجن . هذي أول خطوي لان ما فيك تعمل اي خطوي بدون هي . الشي الثاني أعمل التعليم أحسن بلبنان . بدنا مدارس عامة أكثر لأن لكثير من لناس بيعرفوا انو التعليم جيد بس بيفضلوا يحطوا ولادن بمدارس خاصة لان في كثير طلاب بالمدارس العامة , والطلاب بيجوا من أوضاع مختلفي , وما بدن ولادن يخطلطوا مع ولاد الشارع . والشي الثالث , لأعتناء بالطرقان والطبيعة . هذول ال تلاثي بعتقد أهم شي هلق , والشي الثاني هوي الأهم بعتقد لأن رح تستثمر في الناس .
1 Comment
|
Details
The page gives you the transcripts of the podcasts, both in English and Arabic, with difficult words highlighted and translated.
Archives
June 2023
Categories |